I've Got Headaches And Bad Luck
by LittleVolodya
Summary: Lovino's neighbors are strange.


**Wednesday**

"Sugar?"

"Yeah" Antonio ("Hi, my name is Antonio! What's yours?") laughs in a way that Lovino guesses other people might find charming, but to him it feels like an act. This guy has 'nice, friendly, oh you can trust me with anything' down pat. Lovino distrusts him immediately. "Just a cup or so. I'm making cookies." Again, said with a smile.

 _'Does this guy never stop smiling or what? It's getting creepy._ '

Lovino levels this new neighbor of his, 'Antonio', with an unimpressed look that he hopes gets his point across. From the response he gets, (he smiles even brighter - at this point it feels as though he should go grab his sunglasses) it doesn't.

"They're peanut butter cookies." And Lovino wants to say 'That's some nice information that I didn't ask for.' but Antonio continues before he gets the chance to. "And they're only five ingredients! Isn't that great?"

"I'll go get the sugar." He hadn't planned on it, but this guy was annoying him with his cheeriness. Maybe that was his tactic: Annoy people into giving you what you want.

When he returns with the sugar, Antonio's smile widens further if that was even possible, and he says "Wow, thanks! You're really nice!"

Lovino scoffs. Yeah, this guy is shifty as hell. "Yeah. You're welcome or whatever." He closes the door, effectively cutting off whatever Antonio was going to say next.

He hopes that it's the last time one of his neighbors bothers him. They never have before, so this incident must have been a fluke.

* * *

 **Wednesday**

There is a knock at the door.

Lovino pauses the tv (he's binge-watching Awkward.) and turns to stare at the door suspiciously.

No one ever visits him. Well, his brother does and sometimes Feli will bring his friends over, but he never knocks. He just lets himself in. Plus he was here the other day with his groceries. Maybe he just wanted to hang out again? But then why didn't he just come in?

 _'Maybe he lost his key?'_

The person he finds when he opens the door is not his brother, but a woman with a smile like a cat, sly and knowing. She opens with "Hi, my name is Emma. What's yours?"

He suppresses a shiver. She's pretty, but something about this exchange is familiar and not in a good way.

"Lovino?" It comes out like a question because he's confused.

The woman, Emma, laughs. It sounds like bells. "Well, Lovino, I was wondering if you had some sugar I could borrow?"

"Sugar?" And yeah, now it's even more familiar. He remembers now, last week with that Antonio guy.

"Yes. A cup of it, if that's alright. I'm mak-"

Lovino quickly mutters "I'll be right back." He doesn't want to find out what she's making. What if it was peanut butter cookies? He's probably just being paranoid again. That's what his brother would say. ("This is why you need to go outside and talk to people, Lovi." Feli would whine, bringing in Lovino's groceries. "You think everything's out to get you.")

When he drops the Ziploc bag into her hands, her smile widens. He almost expects fangs.

"Thank you, Lovino. Antonio was right, you're really nice." She says sweetly, still smiling, and now she's reaching her hand towards his face.

He pulls back nervously, not letting her touch him. "Um. You're welcome." He hurriedly closes the door, taking care to lock it. His heart is racing.

 _'Jesus. What the fuck is wrong with me? That was probably normal, right? Feli was right, I need to get outside more.'_

He returns to watching his show, but it takes him awhile to calm down.

* * *

 **Monday**

This time, Lovino is cooking when the knock sounds.

Maybe it's his paranoia talking, but he decides to bring a cup of sugar with him to the door.

The first thing he sees is a blue-striped scarf so he looks up and he's instantly relieved.

 _'Oh thank Jesus, he's not smiling'_

"Lovino." And just like that _poof_ his relief is gone and anxiety hits him like a goddamn train.

"Did you want some sugar?" Lovino asks reluctantly.

At that, the guy smiles, slow and creeping. Lovino's nerves are shot now. He tosses the bag and shuts his door with speed he wasn't aware he was capable of. He double checks that it's locked and slumps to the floor.

 _'What the fuck is happening to me? I must be losing my mind.'_

* * *

 **Thursday**

There isn't even a knock this time.

Lovino decides to brave the outside to get his mail at an absurdly early hour. He figures his neighbors should all be asleep, he had peeked out from his window and there were no lights on in the neighbourhood.

He opens the door and freezes.

"What the fuck?" He whispers to himself because there's someone on his doorstep.

"That sort of language isn't very nice, Lovino." The stranger says pleasantly, or at least Lovino thinks that's what he wants it to come across as. On a normal day it would have worked, at this very moment though it was decidedly unpleasant.

"My name is Arthur. Do you h-"

Lovino slams the door in his face, not caring whether it was rude or not. He can hear 'Arthur' still talking on the other side of the door.

 _'What if everyone but me has been replaced by crazy sugar-obsessed aliens?'_

He leans against the door, listening to muffled words, and cries.

* * *

 **Friday**

He's just getting out of the shower when he hears a quiet tapping at the door. He waits to see if it will stop. A few minutes go by and there is still that constant _tap-tap-tapping_

 _'How long have they been knocking?_ ' He shivers because he hasn't dressed yet and it's cold, but also because the thought of someone standing outside his house knocking for an unknown amount of time was giving him the creeps, big-time.

He decides not to answer it.

* * *

 **Saturday**

He texts his brother to say that he doesn't need to bring any groceries. He says that he's fine and that he just ordered some. He didn't because that would mean more knocking. He can't have Feli bring him any because the last thing he wants is his brother to just walk in like he usually does. He doesn't think he can handle that. He'll make the stuff he has last, even though it means he'll probably be eating canned food for awhile.

He shuts his phone off after his brother responds. He feels like he's going to throw up. All it said was: _Do you have any sugar?_

* * *

 **Sunday**

There is a knock.

When he opens the door, it's Ludwig. Lovino stares at him suspiciously. He's not smiling, in fact he looks concerned. Under normal circumstances Lovino wouldn't mind it if Ludwig was smiling, he actually thinks he has a really nice smile. Right now though, Lovino is glad he's not otherwise he would have had to slam the door in his face.

 _'It could be a trick.'_

"Let me guess," Lovino ventures. "You need some sugar?"

"No." Ludwig says, confused. "I'm here t-"

"Okay, good. That's good." Lovino pulls him into his house and glances around before shutting the door.

"Lovino, what's going on? Are you okay?" Ludwig asks.

"I'm fine." Lovino lies. "Wait. No, no I am not *fine*. Ludwig...I think I'm going crazy." Lovino hides his face in his hands. He's not crying, but he's close. If he does happen to cry, he doesn't want Ludwig to see him like that.

 _'Does it matter? What if he's not real?_ '

He feels arms wrap around him, Lovino drops his head onto Ludwig's shoulder. He wills himself not to cry.

"I'm s-sorry." Lovino says quietly, voice cracking a little. "I'm so fucking sorry for treating you like shit before. I actually really like you. God. I'm a terrible person. Is that why this is happening to me?"

"Lovino, I don't think you're a terrible person. I think you're really nice."

Lovino pauses, he wants Ludwig to think highly of him, but why did he have to use the word 'nice'?

"You know what would make this all better?" Ludwig continues. "Sugar."

Lovino reacts violently, shoving Ludwig off of him. "What the fuck?! Why, why would you say that? Wha-" Lovino snaps his mouth shut, a wave of nausea washing over him. Ludwig is smiling at him. A full-on Cheshire cat smile.

He bolts down the hall and runs into the first room he sees - it turns out to be the bathroom.

* * *

 **Monday**

He's in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed.

There's knocking at the bathroom door and a constant _tap-tap-tapping_ at the tiny bathroom window.

He doesn't want to see the 'person' on the other side again. The first time was terrifying enough. When he closes his eyes he sees violet.

He turns his phone on, thankful that he held on to it, and decides to try one last thing.

His hands shake as he dials 9-1-1.

"Lovino, what's the matter?" The voice on the other end croons into his ear three rings later.

The phone falls from his hands with a loud clatter.

There is knocking at the door.

* * *

Notes: This was supposed to be a cute Spamano fic but somehow it morphed into this horror/crack thing. Review, if you'd like.


End file.
